I cannot escape the conviction that it is as important for a man to marry a woman he is in love with, as it is important for a woman to be loved.1 She needs to be sure that he is sure.
His certainty provides her with certainty. If a man is in love with a woman, he will want to marry her even if they have never even touched each other (the 19th century is full of such love stories).
Men want sex. But sex without love is soul destroying.
Would he ask her to marry her if…? If they never had a kid? If they never had sex? If they never touched each other?
Too many people marry for selfish reasons—he for sex, her for security. She is always trying to get him to do things. He is always trying to get away. She doesn’t feel loved. He feels like he is in a prison.
There is only one reason for a man to marry a woman, and that is this, he wants to be with her more than he wants to be with any other woman. And once he marries her, he must never forget why he married her—no matter how hard things get. He must never forget how he felt (see from the 52nd minute to the 54th minute of the YouTube video "Jordan Peterson Part 1 | Club Random with Bill Maher). And he must never forget his vow: “For better or for worse, in sickness and in health.” A good man is true to his word, true to himself, and true to God. A good man sets his heart on loving his wife.
"Love has ever in view the absolute loveliness of that which it beholds. Where loveliness is incomplete, and love cannot love its fill of loving, it spends itself to make more lovely, that it may love more; it strives for perfection, even that itself may be perfected—not in itself, but in the object. As it was love that first created humanity, so even human love, in proportion to its divinity, will go on creating the beautiful for its own outpouring. There is nothing eternal but that which loves and can be loved..." ~ George MacDonald
Note: The figures are very different for nominal Christian men. See the full interview here.
If you have serious problems in your relationship, or you hope to avoid them, I strongly recommend the following.
If you are a woman who is afraid of losing your man (or you'd simply like to have a better relationship with him), consider what this lady says in the following. (What she says early in the video might turn you off, but if you hear her out I’m sure you’ll be glad you did. It’s also worth reading the comments below the video on youtube.)
A wise man makes a woman feel loved. A wise woman makes a man feel like a man (see the article ‘The Most Effective Way To Destroy Your Husband, Ruin Your Marriage, And Encourage Infidelity’ by Matt Walsh).
But what should you do if you have a broken heart? Is there anything you can do? You can't change how you feel.
In the first chapter of George MacDonald's book Donal Grant (first published in 1883), Donal begins to wonder what he should do. His heart was broken just weeks before, and he has left the town where she lives. He does not know where he will end up, but he knows he can't stay there. His mind keeps wandering back to her. He sits down and begins to think:
"I can never be the man I was! my dearest thought has gone from me, and the old way of thinking is over. Nothing's as bonny as before. When he loses hold of life, how can a man go on living!..."
He decides it is not right to kill himself, and continues to think.
"But there's just one question I must settle before I go farther and that's this: whether I'm going to be less or more than I was before...."
The way he answers that question determines the course of the book. If you have had your heart broken, I strongly suggest you read that chapter. (Donal Grant is the sequel to Sir Gibbie. But you don't need to read Gibbie to enjoy the book.)
What should you do if you love someone but they seem completely out of reach?
This becomes an even more difficult question if there is someone else who holds the same values as you, you understand each other, and you get along really well. Is it worth settling for “second best”?
These questions are answered in one of the most boring—and yet one of the most insightful, and at times, interesting books ever written, Castle Warlock. (It was written in the 19th century by C.S. Lewis’ favourite author, George MacDonald. If you've never read anything by MacDonald you might enjoy the following. It's a children's story which shows how a man should respect the wishes of a woman. Little Daylight2)
If the trans community are not careful, they will turn society against them. The more they try to force people to accept them, the more they will see videos like the Daily Wire's "What is a Woman?" and criticisms like this.
“To try too hard to make people good is one way to make them worse. The only way to make them good is to be good.” ~ George MacDonald
See also Child Regrets Transitioning Soon after Mastectomy & Hormones.
There are only two kinds of people in this world, the decent and indecent. See Pride Month: Why Do We Do This?
How to Talk to Your Kids About Pornography
My Body, My Choice (See also)
How Big Government Hurts Women
1. A good man who is attracted to a good woman he is not in love with, may choose to marry her and she, knowing he is not in love with her, may choose to marry him because she respects and admires him. But I think he would much prefer to be marrying her because he is in love with her, and she would much prefer that too. Btw, marrying the one you love only applies to men who are not married. A married man should never run off with another woman, even if he falls in love with that woman.
2. This is an edited version. The full version can be found in MacDonald's book At the Back of the North Wind.
* Peterson’s advice (see video above) is not just good advice for couples; it is also good advice when dealing with a difficult parent. For example, if the way your father treats your mother upsets you, you might want to try thanking him anytime he does something for your mum (no matter how poorly, or halfhearted).