“The Hebrew word translated to “hate” is SANE. The Hebrew Bible frequently uses SANE as a synonym for ‘reject,’ ‘avoid,’ 'deny,' or 'ignore.' If you don’t trust my Hebrew skills as a native Hebrew speaker, then allow me to point you over to the Ancient Hebrew Lexicon of the Bible, where ‘SANE ’ is explained as something one avoids:
The pictograph is a picture of a thorn, then is a picture of seed. Combined, these mean “thorn seed.” The thorn, (the seed of a plant with small sharp points) causes one to turn in directions to avoid them.122
Hate as reject: In Romans 9: 10-13, Paul clearly uses “hate” in a matter of election. God elected Jacob yet rejected (SANE/ hated) Esau. “Esau I have hated” is not about God wishing for Esau a violent and painful death but about God rejecting Esau and electing Jacob instead.
Thus, biblically speaking, to hate someone is to reject or avoid them—to deny your attention, election, intimacy, or blessings from them. If a woman hates her husband, she turns indifferent, pushes him away, avoids him, and leaves him. On the other hand, if she still cares for him—loves him—she will get angry and fight loudly and emotionally. You go to battle over the things you cherish most but avoid associating with those you hate and are apathetic about.
Hate as ignore/ avoid: Paul's understanding of "hate" is also why Paul says, “No one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body.” (Ephesians 5: 29). We all know people who emotionally hate their body or parts of it. I emotionally hated mine when I was a fat kid with zits on my face. But as we just established, biblical hate is not about emotions or feelings of detestation. Paul was saying that no one ignores their body. We indeed drink water when we are thirsty and don’t avoid going to the toilet when our body tells us to (even if emotionally we “hate” ourselves).
The understanding that to 'hate' means to reject, ignore, or avoid is the only way the words of Jesus would make any sense:
If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. Luke 14:26
Love would not demand that you “hate” (in the modern emotional sense of the word) others or your family because that would contradict Jesus' commandment to love even our enemies. So clearly, to "hate” your family must mean we have to choose him over them, not loathe and despise them.
As a Jew, I had to experience Luke 14: 26 when my Jewish mother first found out I believed in Jesus. When she demanded I stop believing and reject Jesus, I had to reject her plea, choosing Christ instead.
In the same way, we should read Psalm 5: 5-6. God rejects the evildoers—the idols and those who worship them. God's rejection of idols stems from their influence in leading Israel to commit heinous acts, such as the burning of their children.
To conclude, from a biblical standpoint, when you reject, avoid, or ignore someone, you SANE (" hate") them. Therefore, God may “hate” in the sense of withdrawing blessings and protection from people, rejecting their appeals, or avoiding them. However, God loves even the greatest of sinners (1 Timothy 1: 15).”
— HELL: A Jewish Perspective on a Christian Doctrine by Eitan Bar (used with permission)